How to Overcome Almost any Adversity!
The God's honest truth of how I overcame unbelievable problems and impossible odds!
No matter how bad it seems.... or even how bad it actually is. As long as you don't lose faith in yourself.... as long as you focus on your objectives, rather than relentlessly cursing and complaining about the obstacles in your path, you can overcome and accomplish virtually anything....
"Obstacles are those things you see ONLY when you take your eyes off the goal".
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My personal story.... with no embellishments, at all.
At one point in my life, while having no job, a pregnant wife, and a home in foreclosure, I"decided" to get a DUI, total our only car, go to the hospital, then go to jail.... In the midst of all this impossible chaos, I nevertheless created ASN. And even though, I eventually, lost our home to foreclosure; because I had learned to live by the principles I discuss below, even the foreclosure ended up being a blessing.
Then years later, after getting back on my feet, eventually buying another home (that most considered a mansion), the financial markets took a horrible turn for the worse.... What seemed like almost overnight, I proceeded to lose that home, along with everything else I had manage to acquire.... my home, boat, camper, vehicles....
It was so bad I couldn't even keep my health insurance....
Then During the foreclosure process and within the span of about 4 months of each other, my wife's mother and then her father (who we were caring for), died in our home. Then while we were in mourning, someone I would have trusted with my life, stole everything that was left
I GUESS I NEEDED A REST?
Shortly, thereafter, I realized I needed a rest. I decided the best way to get it was to create a situation in which I had a multitude of servants waiting on me hand and foot, 24 hours a day. So I had a heart attack!
That resulted in a $300,000 medical bill. Amazingly enough, that did not improve our situation; especially considering the fact that I did not have insurance. Almost overnight I had gone from what most would consider wealthy to having no income to speak of, no assets, no money, and no credit other than bad, etc....
Life had become a bit "difficult", to say the least. What made it even worse, was the realization that much of what had happened to me was, at least, partly my fault.... If I had paid a bit more attention to who I trusted and had around me, some of these issues would have been avoided. Yes.... and if pigs had wings, they could fly....
Coming back from all of this required a totally new way of thinking.
I learned to generate a laser like Focus on my objectives, while at the same time ignoring any obstacles and problems until and unless there was some specific action that could fix or minimize that problem. Until that moment arose, I would focus ONLY on my objectives, not my problems.
NEVER TAKE YOUR EYE OF THE BALL
When you learn to unflinchingly focus on your objectives, obstacles become simple stepping stones on your path to accomplishment.
On the other hand, when you focus on obstacles, they become like mental brick walls that blind you to what needs to be done.
Worrying and focusing on problems blind you to the goals and objectives that would otherwise motivate and inspire you to finding solutions. By focusing on obstacles, motivation and energy is drained and effectiveness destroyed! It bears repeating.... "Obstacles are those things you see, when you take your eyes off the goal".
If you really want success at anything; If you really want to maximize your effectiveness.... Learn to focus on the objective, while tuning out the obstacles and side issues.... Learn to focus on your goals and the rewards of achievement.... By focusing on doing the things you know MUST be done and when they need to be done, you will get the outcome you desire. And even if you don't achieve precisely your objective, the result will be infinitely better than what constant worry can accomplish. It's not easy, but it's a vitally important skill to develop.
AM I REALLY SAYING TO JUST IGNORE PROBLEMS?
NO! Of course not! But we must learn to give problems only the weight, attention and concern they deserve.... and only WHEN they deserve it.
Do you have to go to court next month? Do everything required to prepare and achieve the proper result.... then go back to work! Put your effort and focus back into achieving your objectives. Don't give it another thought until the day of court. The worst thing you can do is to handcuff your mind by spending a month worrying about what's to come.
Worrying accomplishes nothing other than to create an incessant cloud of anxiety that diminishes your performance on productive tasks. It simply sucks your energy and focus away from productive, positive thoughts and activities. Worrying about finances? Stop worrying about it.... DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. PLAN!.... ANALYZE!.... and then when it's time ACT!....
Remember, every moment spent worrying, is a moment you are not moving towards a solution. Don't Worry; Don't get distracted.... Do what you must, when you must.... but don't worry!
When you must deal with the obstacles that arise, do so- but only when, and not until necessary. Until it it's time to address them, pretend they don't exist. Deal with them when it's time and not a moment before.
Realize, It is impossible to BE your best when.... you are WORRYING about the worst!
There's a time to grieve, a time to plan.... and a time to work.
DON't GET THEM CONFUSED.... Make Sure You Know Which is Which!
THE KEY TO DIRECTED FOCUS
Focus on the objective, not the obstacle. Whatever the issue, deal with it.... but only when it's time to do so.... and not one second sooner Then, after you"ve done everything you can for that moment, move on! That's the trick.... Don't worry about problems, strategize about solutions. Then when it's time, deal with them. Put the plan in action and solve them, but NEVER worry about them before or after! Implement the solution to the degree possible at that moment.... then until necessary, forget it and don't look back! Notice.... worrying plays no part of the solution process!
HOW THE PRINCIPLE OF DIRECTED FOCUS CREATED THE ALL SOLUTIONS NETWORK
WITHOUT MY PERSONAL ADHERENCE TO THESE PRINCIPLES.... ASN WOULD NOT EXIST.
Success Principle"ACTION!"....
"Great ideas are useless without positive action".
ASN didn't always exist. It was once just a great idea that without being combined with an enormous amount of work, perseverance and absolute commitment and focus to overcome what seemed like insurmountable adversity, would just be another idea that disappeared after drinking another beer. The idea was great.... the obstacles I overcame seemed IMPOSSIBLE! Overcoming it all meant I had no choice but to focus on the goal, not the obstacles. If I had allowed myself the luxury of worry, The Solutions Network would never have become a reality.
Why Not Practice Law?
In 2000, the solutions network was little other than the germ of an idea; an assortment of notes on scratch paper and a couple of html pages residing on my computer. I already had my law degree but realized I hated the practice of law.
Since, I was lucky enough to have been one of the top students, I had the honor of clerking for the dean of the law school. It provided me the opportunity to see the complete practice of law, up close and personal. It wasn't nearly as much like my favorite television shows as I had imagined or hoped.
I found that no matter how you tried to practice, no matter how much integrity you had, a major key to continued success in law was, not in solving problems, but rather in creating more of them by creating more issues that provided additional billable hours.
Think about it, if you are working on an hourly, billable basis, as soon as you conclude your case; win or lose, that "job" is over; that source of income has stopped! On the other hand, if you are clever enough to interject a new issue into the legal mix, the other attorney has an obligation to respond; you then, have to respond to the response, they then respond to your response.... This is what's known as creating billable hours; a sort of legal tennis. It's where new issues are lobbed back and forth and with every lob, each attorney earns more money. The nature of the system is such that, often, doing a truly good job for your client, is often not so good for your pocketbook.
Even if you try to stay out of this despicable money grabbing game, you can be forced to participate, because as soon as the opposing attorney, creates a new issue, you have no choice but to address it, or your client loses on the issue by default. All the while you and the opposing attorney are racking up billable hours at the rate of, at least, $200 to $500 per hour. Great money, but I like being able to look in the mirror and still like the person that looks back at me. I have always been about solving problems, not creating or participating in their continuance.
Consequently, I decided not to practice. I decided I was not going to participate in what I see as system that is often little more than legal theft. So, I did nothing other than an occasional Bankruptcy here and there and handled a few legal issues for a select group of friends and acquaintances. I was also performing as a professional musician, playing local clubs a couple of weekends a month. Consequently, money was the thing I needed the most but had the least. I wanted and needed more income, but I insisted that I earn it on my own terms.
MY LIFE WAS FAR FROM BLISS!
Oh yes, I also had a wife who was about 7 months pregnant, could not work, and I, like many, had no insurance (couldn't afford it). Oh, and to top it off.... my home was in foreclosure. (as God is my witness, this was my life)
I didn't have much, but I did have a goal.... an idea. I was going to create the solutions network; (a marriage of my education and the internet), and reach out nationwide; even worldwide to provide the kinds of services and opportunities that everyone needed. I wanted to create a system that would allow anyone, no matter their circumstances or education to join with us and improve their lives by helping others improve theirs.
Many friends thought I was suffering from delusions of grandeur.
I didn't feel I had any delusions. I simply believed in the idea and was absolutely committed to making it happen. (My friends and family thought it was more being committed.... they thought maybe, I should BE committed) In spite of the opinions of others and my dire financial situation I continued to focus on my long term objective rather than my short term issues.
I was totally convinced that my idea would work and that everything would be alright. If I could actually create the system, I couldn't even imagine how or why it would NOT work.... But there was a caveat.... I would be alright ONLY as long as I continued to do and concentrate on the things that I KNEW needed to be done. I COULD NOT be concentrating on the opinions of others or worrying about all the reasons that I should be doing something else.
Things were tough, my wife wasn't happy with many of the choices I was making, and even though, on balance, my friends thought I was a reasonably intelligent guy, they just couldn't understand how could I not be taking advantage of my legal education to rake in the big bucks. Instead I chose to live on the brink of losing everything; while continuing to pursue a "thought", an intangible idea that was nothing but a dream, that was nowhere in site. No one understood. But it didn't matter. I UNDERSTOOD, and that was enough! I was committed to making this happen. I chose to concentrate on my objectives rather than focus on obstacles and the opinions of others.
THEN IT GOT WORSE
As I mentioned, I was also a musician and during this time, music actually generated a large portion of my income. One Friday night as I left a performance at about 2:00 am, I was convinced to take "one shot for the road". I had been drinking already, not to excess but enough. But since I hadn't eaten since about 10:00 am, there wasn't anything to absorb my last"harmless" little shot. The club was a quaint little bar in the mountains and the road home wound round and round through the hills and cliffs. That "one for the road" was not one of my better life's choices.
While driving home, all of a sudden that last shot hit me like a ton of bricks. As I rounded one of the many dangerous curves, all of sudden, I was in a drunken stupor; I saw 3 roads, totally lost control, spun out and ended up, upside down in a ditch, (if I had gone on the other side of the road, I"d have gone off a cliff and probably be dead). The car was totaled, my shoulder had been slammed through the side window, cut up horribly, (the crash bag didn't inflate), I was knocked unconscious, etc.... The end of a very bad night? No!....
Then the police showed up. They took me to the hospital where I was bandaged up and then carted off to jail. It turned out that my blood alcohol level was .18 so now I was looking at some very uncomfortable legal issues.... My pregnant wife who was about 7 months pregnant showed up at the jail to pick me up. She used my brother's car because now, the only car I owned was in a ditch.... totaled.
So now my life had just gotten even worse and the obstacles more numerous and even more severe!.
I had no "job" to speak of, No money, A big DUI, Fines on the way, Hospital bills, A license that I was about to lose because of the DUI, an unhappy wife, a baby on the way, No car, a home in foreclosure, etc.... But I did have one important thing left. My Goal. My Dream.... and I would not, could not, let it go. My friends and even wife thought I was nuts!
MY DREAM, MY OBJECTIVE WAS BIGGER THAN ANY OBSTACLE.
I had a dream to create a company that would allow me to earn by creating a worldwide opportunity that would allow anyone to earn by helping others.... all with no investment.
Years ago I had heard a statement by Zig Ziglar that always stuck with me. "You can get anything in life you want.... if you help enough others get what they want". This is the fundamental precept of the solutions network. It is the idea that permeates every aspect of it. That was my dream and I would not let it go, for anything.
How did I deal with this "impossible situation?
My circumstances were now such that anyone in their right mind would have changed directions. Friends and family urged me to do so. Remember, I had a law degree. I could have given up the dream and gone out the next day and gotten a great job with a successful law firm and solved all of my money problems by simply suing people. But I just didn't find that very exciting or fulfilling.... that wasn't my dream.
Most sane people would have re examined their life, their situation and changed paths. What did I do?
The moment I got home after returning from jail at about 9:00 am, I sat down in front of the computer and went back to work creating ASN!
FOCUS ON THE OBJECTIVE:
After spending a night in jail and the hospital; after totaling my ONLY car, knowing that I would lose my license, incur huge fines, no job, home still in foreclosure, etc.... knowing that it had just become even more difficult to improve my financial circumstances.... instead of giving up the dream and taking the path that"made the most sense" i.e. joining a law firm, I rededicated myself to myqqqqqqq??p0 goal. I refocused on my objectives.
I could have curled up in a ball in a fetal position. I could have given up, I dare say many people might have done just that. But I had this one thought that wouldn't leave me.... I just couldn't shake it....
"Bruce.... you know this is a great idea. There is no way this can't work. If you just do, what you know needs to be done; if you make the right choices, you will get the right results". It became my mantra.... "Do the right thing, get the right result".
I could so easily have given up and just joined a law firm, as everyone urged me to do. Instead, and this bears repeating.... The moment I got home from my"visit" to the hospital and jail (around 9 am), in spite of my life going down the toilet, I literally walked into my home (that I was still losing), sat down in front of the computer and continued transforming my notes and ideas into my first actual website.
I worked 18 hours a day for about 4 weeks straight, not letting ANYTHING or ANYONE distract me.
My pregnant wife was furious (why didn't I get a job?), my friends perplexed (they"knew" I had better options), within one month I had the first incarnation of the solutions network.
From there, for a very long while it was smooth sailing....
BUT HAS IT BEEN PERFECT?
That's not to say there haven't been more issues, more obstacles, setbacks.... There have been.... some were BIG ones! Since that time, I"ve had a massive heart attack.... in one span of 4 months, my mother in law, then father in law, passed away, in our home. I then had to help my wife and children get through the horrible emotional trauma this caused, not to mention the fact that I had cared deeply for each of them and had my own sorrows to deal with.... Then, if that wasn't enough, during this time of distraction, someone I would have trusted with my life, stole everything, that wasn't nailed down....
As always, I overcame. The fact is, things happen.... If I had to bet, I"d guess I'll have to deal with more issues and more setbacks in the future. It's so unfair! Yes, it is.... but guess what, that's life. Get Used to It!
We all have setbacks. Some are big, some are small, some are HUGE! But we never have a choice.
WE either overcome problems.... or THEY overcome us!
For me, when new problems arise, I will do what I"ve always done. Focus on the objective, not the obstacle. Whatever the issue, I'll deal with it.... But NOT UNTIL IT's TIME TO DO SO.... and not one second sooner. Then, after I"ve dealt with it, I'll move on and get back to work.
That's the trick.... don't focus or worry about problems. Prepare to deal with them, analyze them, solve them, but don't worry about them! When it's time to act on them, Do it.... then move on until and unless it's time to revisit them. Never dwell on them again.
NEVER FORGET THIS....
In Life, there's a time to grieve, a time to plan.... and a time to work.
DON't GET THEM CONFUSED.... Make Sure You Know Which is Which
I don't care what you do, who you are or what you want to accomplish....There is no business concept that is more important to your success. Focus on your objectives not your problems. And once you"ve dealt with the obstacle, forget about it. Don't dwell on it or the person that caused it. It's impossible to effectively move forward if you are always looking in the rear view mirror.
WHATEVER YOUR DREAM, YOU CAN DO IT
When you have a dream, don't give up. Don't let anyone steal it or diminish it. If you"ve analyzed it and know that it is sound, workable and worthwhile for yourself and for the public, focus on it and don't let anything stop you. Do that and your going to be alright.
But that doesn't mean that there won't be obstacles. THERE WILL BE.
It doesn't mean there won't be set backs; even temporary failures. THERE WILL! No matter what you do, things will not always go your way. It just means you have to deal with them. But never worry about them before necessary and don't dwell on them afterwards. What's done is done. What will be, will be. To a huge degree you control your destiny, providing you keep your eyes on the prize.
Creating ASN was what I set out to do. In spite of seemingly impossible obstacles, setbacks, criticism from family and friends, I persevered and accomplished that objective. It could never have happened without the ability to maintain focus in the face of incredible adversity.
A HAPPY ENDING REGARDING MY FORECLOSING HOME???
Remember the house that I was losing? I wish I could say I was so brilliant and quick that I fixed everything at light speed and saved my home and avoided moving my family. It would seem that would be a fairy tale ending, but it would also be a lie!
The fact is, I was unable to save my home. Realize, no matter who you are, what you do, what you know or how bright you are.... things do not always work out- THEY JUST DON't! But this'tragedy" left me no choice but to make a change in direction that resulted in a better outcome!; a home that we were able to move into with nothing down. It was larger, nicer and a much better fit for our growing family.
True.... I didn't accomplish my original objective. But because I didn't give up, didn't put my head in the sand, didn't wallow in self pity asking"why me?".... Because I focused on finding a way to move forward, I actually ended up with an even better outcome!
The moral of the story?
Even if you don't get exactly what you are after or accomplish exactly what you attempt, by keeping your head up and your eyes open, things will still work out.... Remember, continue to do what needs to be done.... eventually you will get a positive result....even if it's not EXACTLY what you originally had in mind.
Remember this quaint saying, If you are reaching for the stars, you will never come up with a handful of mud!
It all worked out for the best, but only because I looked for, pursued, expected and focused on the best. If I had, instead, buried my head in the sand and asked"why me, why is this happening to me" I and my family could have ended up in the street.
When problems occur.... don't get down.... get moving!
As Napoleon Hill said in his classic book'think and Grow Rich",
"Every adversity carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit". If I hadn't been in the process of losing my existing home, I"d have never purchased the home that ended up being so much better for my family.
In closing , I just want to say:
Focus on where you are going.... Not where you"ve been.
We all know"if you focus too much on your rear view mirror.... You will crash...."
The same is true of our lives.
